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Blue Apron — The Best Lazy Cooking Money Can Buy

October 22, 2015

You know, life can move a little quickly. And by a little I mean a lot. One day you’re in college where waking up early meant anytime before 10am, and drinking heavily on a Tuesday was a social necessity, and you ate chicken fingers and french fries and a diet coke, because, after all, a diet coke has no calories. Next thing you know you’re a young professional with an actual profession, and there are more photos on your Facebook page of babies than there are of jello shots, and your idea of cleaniness involves Lysol and 409 instead of the back of your sleeve.

The transition into — gasp — adulthood is a strange and bizarre one. I am reminded of the scene in Home Alone when Kevin McCallister is standing in front of the bathroom mirror after showering, brushing his teeth, flossing, and finally shaving his hairless face. He remarks to his reflection with a sense of accomplishment and pride on his meticulous dedication to his physical appearance, noting his particular care in washing all his body’s nooks and crannies, as if washing the nooks and crannies of one’s body is obviously the mark of an adult. He then pours a handful of after shave into one hand, rubs his hands together, and then slaps the liquid on his face — the immediate daggers of alcohol into open, youthful facial pores are brutal on poor Kevin and he screams in shock and pain at the after shave’s astonishing, agonizing sting, not unlike the swift slap of adulthood. Whenever being a grown up sucks, I imagine this scene and laugh. 

Even though growing up does stink from time to time, it does have certain perks. Like being able to have food delivered to your door with little to no effort put forth — all you do is set up a profile online, enter your shipping and billing info, and bam! Subway meals are delivered. This may be more of a credit to today’s technology, but bear with me now. 

Meet my cardboard best friend Blue Apron (don’t worry she recycles very well). Every week for $60 (for two people) Wilson and I receive a box full of individually packaged ingredients to prepare three delicious meals. The box includes all ingredients for the recipe — all you need is cooking utensils, salt/pepper, and olive oil. Each delivery also comes with a step-by-step recipe to guide you through the cooking process and even has pictures. The pictures are the best. The recipes take an average of 25 to 45 minutes to prepare, depending upon how overserved you are during the cooking process, and the meals really are scrumptious and restaurant quality.

Don’t get me wrong though —  just because everything is pre-packaged and spelled out for you, you do have to cook and sometimes you will cave and order from foodpanda but just keep trying. Once it becomes a habit it will get easier.  As Wilson put it when we first began our Blue Apron subscription:

“Step 1: Thinly slice 15 different vegetables. Step 2: Delicately sear the meat and try not to overcook. Step 3: Burn everything. Step 4: Call Domino’s.”

Wilson isn’t much of a culinary enthusiast, but since using Blue Apron for six months he’s turned into quite the cook. He can now expertly smash and mince garlic, chop an onion, and fry a myriad of things.

To further convince you that Blue Apron is incredible and cost effective and that you should subscribe immediately, I took some photos of last week’s dinner prep of some sort of tacos.

ingredients

The beautifully fresh ingredients from the box.

This whole Blue Apron idea upsets my dad to no end — the idea of someone spoon-feeding you (no pun intended) meal after meal week after week is lazy in his opinion. Being a real adult according to dear ol’ Dad means getting up at the crack of dawn, driving 45 minutes to work, working a full day, driving 45 minutes home, going to the grocery store, and then cooking a full meal once you get home. And since his idea of adulthood is my personal hell, it’s a good thing I have Blue Apron. Dad, agree to disagree. 

prepared ingredients

Oh look and here they are all chopped and organized and pretty. Can someone please teach me how to operate a camera? This photo is just bad. 

Another bonus of Blue Apron is there is no waste. Each meal is perfectly portioned for two people (or four if you choose) and there are no extra leftovers that will sit in the fridge for a week or two until they grow hair. It’s pretty great.

dry ingredients

The dry ingredients.

mix

The dry ingredients having a party together.

onions

Some onion pickling happening here…

pickled onions

And here…

ingredients prepared

 Taco innards getting ready for insertion into said taco.

I should add that if you are picky, Blue Apron is not for you. The recipes are all delicious in my opinion, but unless you like a variety of foods, you should probably just stick to my Dad’s way of doing things and grocery shop just for yourself. BORING

doggie

My sous chefs. Wilson chops, Birdie licks up any spills. We are very efficient at the Jones household.

birdie

Where’s my plate!?

the necessities

The other sous chefs.

plates

The finished product. The recipe instructions even include how to artfully plate your dish, which I love. So fancy. 

tacos ended

If anyone would like to try Blue Apron for free, please leave a comment on this post and I’ll send you some free meals I have to give away. I want to spread the good news of Blue Apron with all of my peeps so don’t be shy. I only have five to giveaway so don’t dilly dally. 

Happy Thursday!

How to Speak Southern

Birdie!

August 27, 2015

If you follow me on Instagram, then you are already well versed in the monumental life news that Wilson and I got a dog last month. Her name is Ladybird Jones of Habersham, she goes by Birdie, and she is the best dog I have ever known. She has my coloring and Wilson’s big head, which we hope she will grow in to. She has an affinity for eating and enjoys eating sticks in particular. She likes carrying magnolia leaves in her mouth while we walk, and running and jumping on anyone with white pants (sorry lady in the square last night!). I can’t wait to get her little dog boots for hiking! It seems she shares Wilson’s fondness for white pantsLike father like daughter. There are times though when I cant walk her so I have hired someone from Buckhead Paws to walk her for me. 

IMG_5356

Taking her home for the first time. She immediately fell asleep with her head on my shoulder and I decided that I liked her quite a bit.

birdie in basket

 We took her on a bike ride a few weekends ago and she enjoyed it for the most part I believe. She fit perfectly in the basket and therefore I didn’t care if she enjoyed the bike ride or not — I made her do it anyway. Builds character. 

rolls

 Like any baby, she likes to be held as such. And I am more than happy to oblige.

4AM

This was the other morning at 4:15AM when she decided to bark very loudly. I was so mad at her until I looked in the mirror at the bottom of our stairs and realized she was clutching to me like a real human child. I think she actually is a real human child in a dog costume.

sleepy bear

 Too sleepy to open her eyes for the picture.

not lady like

 We are working on what it means to be a Southern lady. She has a very liberal interpretation.

no pictures

 No pictures, please.

sleepy

 Yes we hold the dog all the time.

facetiming

One afternoon Birdie Facetimed me when I was on my way home from work stuck in traffic. She was wondering where the hell I was. She has a very strict eating schedule. FEED ME DAMMIT. I’M SO HUNGRY.

birdie at party

mondays

THIS PICTURE MAKES ME SO HAPPY.

little face

We told her dogs were supposed to ride in the back of the car. She wasn’t sure what we meant.

me and birdie on the boat smiling

 Birdie’s first boat ride this past weekend.

on the boat

 She thoroughly enjoyed it.

water bowl

So much so that she fell asleep in her water bowl.

IMG_5518

My lovey.

Last night I was so angry with her — Wilson was out of town and therefore I was on solo Birdie-duty and she was so bad. The worst. She peed on me, peed on a rug, ripped a hole in my dress, and carried around a dirty Q-Tip in her mouth that she found in (hopefully) our trash can. I almost threw up. Still might.

But this morning it was like she knew what an asshole she had been and decided to make it up to me by being the cutest, sweetest, most loving puppy ever. She got in my lap when I woke her up this morning and licked the entire side of my face in one swoop. She circled around my legs and sat at my feet while I put on my makeup. She trotted after me while I walked back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom while getting ready, patiently sitting on her haunches while I picked out what to wear. She recommended the white dress, which is what I chose, obviously. It’s that type of devoted, unrequited love that makes dogs so special. They love without abandon, try to please you to the best of their ability, and give the messiest, grossest, and most loving kisses ever. I’ve fairly certain Birdie has eaten half of my foundation and bronzer after licking my face so much. 

I’d like to apologize in advance for the obnoxious amount of photos that I will most likely post here on SST and on Instagram, but she’s just so damn cute and sweet and I love her. I hope you do too.