Men are so bizarre.
They enjoy scratching their privates in public, burping and blowing it in others’ faces, and talking really loudly on work phone calls. Or is that just Wilson?
Although men are strange creatures, we womenfolk can learn a thing or two from them. Certainly no more than two things, though.
Men are simple creatures who require very few things to make them happy. I know I’m making a gross generalization here, but for the most part, men know what they like and don’t require tons of stuff to be fulfilled. They do require ample amounts of
babysitting love, though.
With this in mind, I pulled together some of the most coveted items that every man would love to receive this Kwanzaa/Hannukah/Christmas/whatever-you-celebrate season. And because men are so low-maintenance — stuff wise, that is — you only have to give them one thing for them to be happy. One nice present — because, after all, less is more.
1. Mad about a man in plaid: the new, hip, and, most importantly, Southern menswear on the fashion scene, Ledbury offers quality men’s fashions that are sure to please the man in your life. Dear Wilson, you would look #adorbs in this shirt.
2. Biking is for lovers: Wilson is obsessed with this bike. A few months ago I received an email from him to my work email and it was flagged URGENT. I clicked on it immediately because I thought that something was wrong, but in fact he had just discovered Priority Bicycles and decided that we needed them to complete our #SSTdoesSavannah story. He told me yesterday that he was going to get me the white one for Christmas, but decided against it because once he got me one, he’d have to get himself one, and that buying a present for me when it meant buying something for himself wasn’t exactly what the season of giving is all about. He doesn’t deserve half of the shit I give him.
3. Better watch out, better not cry: this watch is so pretty, I think it would be great for men and women. One for you and one for me.
4. I don’t think you’re ready for this Yeti: ah, these dang expensive Yeti coolers. I hate that they are a freaking fortune, but they really do keep things ice ice baby cold. This is Yeti’s newest cooler that is “lightweight” version that still offers the freezing cold conditions that the bigger, heavier coolers do. Bravo.
5. This is really good shaving cream and I have nothing funny to say about it.
6. Bitter is better: you know how cocktails and mixology is all the rage with the kiddos these days? Bittermilk is right in with that trend. These expert mixers crafters create delicious tonics and bitters to add to your favorite alcoholic libation. They participated in an event at my real job recently and I’m afraid I may have scared them a little by how obsessed I was with their products. Much to Wilson’s chagrin, I will never know how to play it cool.
7. Kill a deer, open a bottle: my bestie Emery sent me these neat antler bottle openers as a great stocking stuffer for Wilson, and I do believe it would also make a great stocking stuffer for any stylish man, not just my dear Wilson.
8. Don’t dop the ball: every man needs a good dop kit. This one is the bomb and available for 30% off right now with the promo code GETFESTIVE. Get festive indeed.
So, get shopping — just make sure to use your best judgment and don’t overspend or buy impulsively. Being ostentatious is so 1999.