My peeps — what you are about to read may potentially change your lives. If it doesn’t change your life, it will most certainly change your upcoming bikini season.
This past weekend I discovered the nectar of the gods, the 8th world wonder, the best thing since tasting my first mimosa — St. Tropez Dark Tanning Mousse. My mom and sister have been addicted to this stuff for awhile now as have many of my friends, but the price kept me from buying it. At $44, it’s certainly not something that should be purchased without serious forethought.
But desperate times called for desperate measures — my skin was so pale it looked like I slathered sunscreen all over myself and didn’t rub it in. I was also sick of going to Palm Beach Tan and being harassed by the orange sales clerk to buy a $12 scent to add to the spray tan solution so you don’t smell like a… spray tan. !?!? Hey Palm Beach Tan, here’s a thought — why not just add the scent to the spray tan solution in the FIRST place so we don’t smell like shit instead of intimidating people to buy it?
I’ll calm down. This post is about the wonder and magic that is St. Tropez, which is a beautiful thing.
After acknowledging that my see-through skin needed some help, I took the plunge and ordered this magic potion from Sephora. I performed the normal sunless tanner prep — exfoliating, shaving, no lotion after shower — and then donned some plastic gloves left over from my date with the norovirus and got to work. The directions said to apply in a circular motion, so I obediently swirled the mousse onto my body with the gusto and determination of Carrie Bradshaw at a Manolo Blahnik sample sale.
Within an hour I looked like I had just come back from St. Tropez, minus any skin damage and the exorbitant cost a trip like that would require. In fact, one of my friends actually thought I went to St. Tropez when I said that my fabulous tan was from… St. Tropez. And my tan looked so fabulous it was an easy mistake to make.
It’s been four days since applying said magic potion and I still look perfectly tan and terrific. Nothing like a little positive self-talk on a Tuesday. I have moisturized liberally each morning and night as recommended by its directions — I’m a big rule-follower — and it has helped maintain the color and evenness of the tan.
My only complaint is one that all sunless tanners cause — the tan rubs off on anything, particularly anything white. My bedsheets are now an interesting color of nude-ish orange — I’m afraid their days of being sparkling white are over. Wilson says it looks like an Oompah Loompah slept in our bed. Rude.
Regardless of Wilson’s opinion of his new sleeping arrangements, I cannot speak highly enough of St. Tropez Dark Tanning Mousse. I know I’ve already done an Investment Piece of the Month for April, but you need to go get this too. Your skinny bikini season depends on it.