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A Few of My Favorite Things

February 17, 2017

So I have a confession to make — I think I may be addicted to almond butter.

Yes, I know, I know. This is not a real addiction.

But, I really do think I am addicted to it. To be fair, so is Birdie. We can’t get enough of  it — we eat it morning, noon, and night, and many moments in between. I currently have four jars of the stuff in my cabinet, all opened, all with varying degrees of almond butter left. Birdie even recognizes the sound of when I open a jar — we have jars of other foods and she knows the difference — and she’ll come running and sit at my feet patiently while I dig it out and eat it right off the spoon, and then I’ll let her lick what’s left. There’s never much left. Wilson finds errant spoons in various spots around the house (and the car), licked clean of all their contents. Birdie is an excellent dishwasher.

But it’s not just almond butter I’m addicted to. Indeed, I’ve come to realize I’m a creature of habit, gravitating towards the possessions I love most in life and ignoring all else. Below is a little compilation of some of my most favorite things — some I’ve written about before, but they still are my faves. This is the tried and true shiz.

By the way, if I could hyperlink an option to buy a Wilson and a Birdie, I’d do it for you. They are just that good. My real favorites.  

 

A Few of My Favorite Things

 

 

Pajamas. I am writing this post in these pajamas, and they are pretty amazing. Soft, lightweight, luxurious — you feel like you’re fancy.  You is kind, you is smaht, you is fancy.

Sunglasses. I bought a pair of these sunglasses while in Hawaii and love them. I have the tortoise shell color, but I love this light brown color too. Like a good cappuccino. Don’t worry Wilson I did not buy them. 

Nespresso. Holy shit I could yap all day about my Nespresso machine. It’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me, up there with meeting Wilson, moving to Savannah and birthing Birdie. This one makes coffee and espresso — so fetch — and includes a separate frother, which I would open-mouth kiss every morning if Wilson wouldn’t judge me. Frother, you’re everything to me. 

Shoes. I’ve written about these driving moccasins before, but I finally got a pair for Christmas this past year (thank you Mom and Dad) and I’m obsessed with them. They are very well made and so comfortable. I love them. Buy them.

Eyeliner. As previously mentioned I’m not the savviest makeup artist on the block, but I try. This eyeliner by Tarte has two ends — one normal eyeliner crayon end and the other is a faux magic marker with a pointed tip to create the perfect cat eye. Since I don’t normally go out with a traditional cat eye — but maybe I should, me-yowww — I use the crayon end daily, but if you’re in to options this eyeliner is the one for you.

Candle. This candle smells delish. I’m not sure it smells like Savannah because sometimes Savannah smells like the bottom of an old sneaker, but it’s great anyway. .

Face lotion. This face cream is awesome. I got it as a sample and am about to buy some more — it’s super lightweight and smells nice.

THE BEST ALMOND BUTTER/DRUG OF ALL TIME. Vanilla and espresso-flavored almond butter. It’s bananas. Just buy it. You will thank me later. It would be great with bananas too. 

Can I get an amen for Friday?

Home Living

Foyer Update

January 24, 2017

The saying goes that a first impression is a lasting impression, and I believe this to be true. For me, I’m likely going to remember the fact that someone made good eye contact,  shook my hand with a normal, respectable strength, and complimented my hair the first time I met them. I’ll file that person away in my memory in the GOOD folder, under GOOD TASTE IN PEOPLE AND HAIR. Flattery will get you everywhere.  

On the other hand, a bad first impression can linger on far too long, like when your impatience gets the best of you and you slurp down that first sip of coffee when it’s just a hair too hot and taste your own burnt tongue all day. This lunch tastes delicious with a side of burnt taste buds. 

Similarly, the foyer is your first impression for your house, and you want to make a good one. Like a firm handshake, your foyer should greet guests with a stately elegance that someone might file away in their GOOD memory folder, under GOOD TASTE IN PEOPLE AND FOYERS.

While my foyer may not exactly say I’m stately and I’m elegant, I think it’s at least a good indication that good people live here who like to drink wine, which is always what I’m looking for when I walk into someone’s home. Don’t you? But don’t let me sway your opinion, decide for yourself. I also use a ToolsMaestro pressure washer to help clean the siding and driveway.

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Runner from Etsy — I bought this one obviously, but here is the seller. I also love this one.

Birdie can’t help but model. She’s just so beautiful she can’t help it. Like father like daughter.

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Love it so much. 
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Old Sleepy Poet purchase.

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Old pillows, old stool. Relatively new dog.

I think I need some sort of green plant to go in front of that vent. Is that a fire hazard? Can someone let me know about that?

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Rug from Number Four Eleven, one of my favorite stores in Savannah.

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Tray table and orchid from Number Four Eleven. Similar table here and orchid here.  Finally, an orchid I can’t kill.

You’ve seen those floral prints before too.

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I feel like this is one of those photos you used to look at when you were a kid of all the dizzying geometric sequences and you were supposed to see a cat or a unicorn out of it if you stared at it long enough. Do you remember those? I could never see the cat, I just got dizzy.  

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Mirror mirror on the wall, whose the cheapest mirror of all? This one. 

Umbrella stand old purchase from Sleepy Poet.

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She’s so bored of those photo shoot she took a nap. Clearly not an SST fan. 

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If you look closely, you can see a half-eaten tennis ball placed in my shot by Birdie. This is her version of prop styling.

Well, what do you think? Did I make a stately statement? Or are you filing me away in your BAD folder, under BAD FOYERS WITH CUTE DOGS?

So long as you think Birdie is cute, the rest is fine with me.

Home Living

Paint Colors Are Difficult

August 26, 2016

I think it’s a safe assumption when I say I’m not alone in despising the choice of a wall paint color. It’s such a commitment — so many variables to consider and what if you don’t like it!? Such a nightmare.

Because I believe in surrounding myself with people much smarter than myself, I enlisted the help of my dear friend Addison and asked her for three things: one really great white wall color and two really great gray wall colors.

She answered immediately: Farrow & Ball Shadow White, Farrow & Ball Hardwick White, and Benjamin Moore Gray Owl. Boom. Done.

all three

Shadow White / Hardwick White / Gray Owl

(They all look super similar in this picture, but they are really very different in reality. Shadow White is a super rich white with a hint of gray, Hardwick White is a beautiful light gray with no traces of any other colors in it, and Gray Owl is a light, airy gray laced with light blue — very spa-like.) 

I then did some quick research on each of these colors and quickly realized the Farrow & Ball choices were incredibly cost prohibitive for my teeny tiny budget. F&B colors are stunning, but holy crap are they ridiculously expensive. Like the cost of mortgage payment ridiculous. And depending on how many walls you have/how big they are, it could equal the cost of several mortgage payments. Cue Wilson’s cardiac arrest. 

So instead of giving Wilson even more gray hair than I already do on a daily basis, I asked our painters if they would be able to mix the paints, and sure enough Sherwin Williams was able to mix the paints to almost exactly the same color, and for a fraction of the price. I’m sure it isn’t perfect, but neither am I, so who cares. Birdie is perfect though. 

Per www.plymouthbuild.co.uk tips and instruction, I painted nearly the entire house Shadow White and I absolutely love it. I would name my firstborn child Shadow White if that were socially acceptable and my parents and in laws wouldn’t disown me. The walls are an eggshell finish, the trim is semi-gloss, and the ceiling is painted egg shell at half strength. This last part is very important to note — there is a natural shadow on any ceiling, so mixing the wall color to half strength makes it lighter and will appear to be the same color as the walls because of that natural shadow thing. Or something scientific like that. Anyway it’s important to remember so that when your painters paint the ceilings double strength you can tell them they did it wrong. Like this:

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Pretty, but wrong.

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Wrong again.

Correct:

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Yas!

living-room

Beautiful picture of the scaffolding.

dining-room

Our dining room. We painted this Hardwick White in semi-gloss on the walls and the trim, and then Shadow White in half strength on the ceiling. I loveeeeeeee the trim and walls painted all the same color — looks saturated and modern. Or as Wilson said, “New, but old and updated.” Oh really, do tell me more.

Finished products (you’ve seen these already but now pay close attention to the wall color please):

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I’d like to also point out that Birdie matches the walls and most of the furniture too. Because, again, she is perfect. 

I can’t show you the bedroom quite yet because she’s not done and doesn’t want to be shown off until she has all of her makeup on — sounds like my mother who has never gone out of the house without her lipstick — but let me tell you, Gray Owl is just so perdy. Very peaceful and zen. I’ll show you the master bedroom soon enough… Now on to my midday rosé. I love that that rhymes.

Happy Friday everyone!

Home Living

Life Down the Street

August 1, 2016

Thanks to the help of my mother in law and some of the happiest movers I’ve ever met, Wilson and I have moved into our new home. Louise, thank you so much. You are a saint. 

As often noted, moving is one of the most stressful occasions you’ll experience in life, and this one was stressful, but not as much as our last one, where our Kelowna movers packed up everything and moved across three states to a place we’d been to twice. #blessed #not

But moving is much like renovating a house — both are decisions you make because you conveniently forget just how mentally and physically taxing it is, glossing over the fact that, for all intents and purposes, you live like a complete crazy person for a matter of weeks, or months, or years, depending on the magnitude of said projects.

In our case, both the move and the renovation were relatively small in the grand scheme of things, thankfully so, but I did forget how annoying it is to be without things that keep your life going for weeks on end — like a washing machine, or a tv, or wireless.

We just got TV again after two weeks of being without, and here’s how that time lapse of no TV went:

Day 1: We are totally fine without TV. It’s so nice not having it, you know we turn that thing on for no reason sometimes.

Day 2: I really love having no tv, the peace and quiet is so soothing. I feel so relaxed.

Day 4: Let’s put on some music, I’ve got a really great indie playlist.

Day 6: Wilson, do you have any rap on your Spotify?

Day 9: Wilson, do we have a radio? Could you stream from your car?

Day 11: Birdie, why won’t you talk to me?

Day 12: Wait, what month is it? When is July 4th?

Day 14: Wilson, Birdie just responded to me!

You get the picture. I’d really love to think that I’m intellectually elevated enough that I don’t need to watch TV to be entertained, but I’ve been humbled by the realization that I’m like any other American — disappointingly and disgustingly addicted to television. If I watch Jeopardy, can I still be smart?

Anywho.

The house is coming along nicely — Wilson and I keep inviting people over so that we have a deadline to do things, otherwise we’d be living in squalor for an unacceptably long amount of time. This past weekend we hosted a BYOC party — bring your own chairs — because we don’t have any dining room chairs. #BYOC16 was a huge success, especially because one guest donated two chairs to our cause.

Here’s some sneak peeks of the living room and dining room — neither of which are completed, but progress is progress and it should be celebrated. Oh and also I haven’t posted in four weeks and am no longer considered a blogger. Which isn’t such a bad thing. 

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 My model brought her own props.

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I am really digging this little nook.

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 My new bowl from Cents and Sensibilities, a lovely antique and consignment store in Savannah.

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Recycled goodies from homes prior.

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Hide rug was on sale from Cotswold Marketplace in Charlotte.

When we moved in, one of the painters who was working on the upstairs asked me if it was a lion rug. No. 

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Dining room, modeled by Birdie.

That table was $250 from Craigslist, thanks to Wilson. You is kind, you is smart, you is important. 

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New sideboard from Clutter, a fantastic store in Savannah with a hodge podge of goodies just waiting for a new home. It’s the type of store that you start sneezing in immediately upon entering. Never trust any antique store if it doesn’t make you sneeze. 

Lamps were on sale from Number Four Eleven, another Savannah shop I’m obsessed with.

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I stole those leaves from a neighbor. Just some friendly pruning… Don’t mind me… 

So, what do you think? I think I need a drink. Stat. Who’s with me?

Home Living

House Update

June 28, 2016

Oh hello. It’s been a crazy four weeks since we last checked in. My conversations with Wilson now go like this:

Me: Wilson I got 10% off the sconces for the downstairs vanity.

Wilson: Awesome! How much were they?

Me: $300.

Wilson: No no no no. Anna you have to take those back.

Three weeks ago:

Me: I think brushed brass is going to be perfect for the master bath. I love it.

Wilson: Why can’t you just like chrome?

Me: Because I don’t.

Wilson: I’m getting very agitated.

Me: Why?

Wilson: Because you are so expensive.

A week later:

Me, on the way to work, calling Wilson: Wilson, what do you think if we wallpapered the dining room above the chair rail?

Wilson: What the hell? No. We already ordered the paint. Where are you getting these ideas from?

Me: My head.

Wilson: I’ve gotta call you back. You are so expensive.

And then, last night around 2:45 a.m.:

Me: WILSON! Did Craig [the contractor] call you back?

Wilson: zzzzzzzzzz

Me: WILSON!!!!!

Wilson: WHAT! WHAT’S WRONG?

Me: Did Craig call you back!?

Wilson: ANNA CALM DOWN. YES. GOSH .

As always, poor Wilson. Hehe. 

I’ve been the queen of decision making lately, which I’m quite proud of as that is not one of my strengths. Waffling for months over an infinitesimal detail, now that is my specialty. We’ve picked out almost everything — fixtures, tile, paint colors, etc. — for the remodel. I just can’t wait for everything to come together, because right now it looks like a royal mess. There is a saw horse (is that a thing? Am I making that up?)  where our bed should go, floor is missing from part of the hallway, oh and we JUST got walls. So we’ve got some work to do. And our original date of moving in July 1 has long gone out the window as I anticipated. We’ll be lucky if we get in here in a few weeks, let alone the end of the month. Oy.

Anywho, here’s a quick scroll down reno memory lane to get you up to speed on all the craziness that has been going on these past few weeks:

ugly-mirrors

Look! The ugly ass smoky mirrors are down from our master bathroom walls! The only problem is that they are sitting in our master bedroom. Note to self: sanitize that area where those mirrors are resting EXTREMELY WELL before moving in. Sick.

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The beginning of demo of the master bathroom. Goodbye nasty jacuzzi tub. No one will miss you.

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THAT TOILET! Oy vey. Goodbye, so long, get the F outta my house.

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Demo of guest bathroom. We moved the entrance wall quite a bit back so the bathroom will be smaller, but this way we can have two guest rooms. All about compromise.

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Initial construction of the wall that will make one oddly long room back into two guest bedrooms.

laundry-room

Before we demo’ed the laundry room. This tiny closet with room for only stackable washer dryer units will transform into a larger room with space for the washer and dryer to live happily side by side. Hallejuah. 

shower

Look! Beginnings of a master shower! This is Wilson’s piece de resistance with two shower heads. I’m a bit nervous he may never get out of the shower. Ever. And for those of you who know him well, you’ll know this is a legitimate concern. 

kitchen

And now moving downstairs…

The wall came down! There was this odd wall divider (that didn’t go all the way to the ceiling, strangely enough) on the jut out in the kitchen cabinets. Hims gone and I’m thrilled. And this is exactly the way the kitchen will look moving forward (or for as long as I can stand it) so get used to it people.

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The living room looking into the dining room — it’s truly amazing what a fresh coat of paint will do to a place. Like I said, this house had great bone structure initially, so she’s really coming along with some beautiful paint colors chosen by the ever-talented Addison Kon. More to come on those later… But in the meantime, check her stuff out. She’s fantastic.

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The dining room — we added that chair rail and painted the whole room — wall and trim — a creamy gray in semi-gloss. I’m obsessed. The antique lighting chandelier is supposed to be hung later this week… It’s like Christmas in July…

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Pony tail game strong to quite strong.

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 The living room — nothing new in here but four can lights and new paint, and wow what a difference that made. I’m so excited to see how this space progresses.

And just because we’re in the midst of a semi-ridiculous renovation of our new house does not mean that Wilson and I have slowed our social pace down. Heavens no. Last weekend we went to a stunning wedding of some great friends and had a grand ol’ time:

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dress / shoes

I scored this dress at a major major sale at The Poole Shop in Charlotte — if you are local, I’d highly recommend because they’ve got some really high-end pieces on uber sale. I’d never pay full price for this dress (it’s more than some people’s rent) but it was on sale on sale on sale.

At the wedding I was asked several times if I still write this blog, to which my response was, I don’t really know. Haha. I don’t have as much free time as I used to and often feel like the posts I do write are lackluster and uncreative — boooo — but I have to say, I was truly flattered that people even cared or remembered about dear ol’ SST. So, I’ll try to do better, and thank you to those who’ve asked where the hell I’ve been. Made me feel the warm and fuzzies. 

Home Living

And Just Like That…

May 24, 2016

We’re homeowners again. Woot!

Wilson and I have been working on an off-market sale of a gorgeous townhome on the same block as our current apartment for a few months now, and we just closed on the home last week.

Here’s the beauty in all of her little glory here:

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Isn’t she just the cutest?

Now of course all I have to show you are terrible cell phone pictures, but I promise I’ll do a better job of illustrating what a lovely home it is. She’s got beautiful bone structure. However, she needs some work. Don’t we all. 

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 Birdie and her lazy ass sit. 

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 Fashion by Wilson. 

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 The master. No we will not be leaving the purple walls. 

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 Look at that sweet little Bird. 

Wilson and I are starting a mini-renovation of the home this week that will last into July, which means it’ll probably extend into 2018. We all know how these things go. But we move in by July 1, which means I at least need some electricity and running water by then. After our last renovation, I really understood what the Jungle Book means with the whole Bare Necessities thing. Bear? Whatever you know what I mean. 

As far as the extent of the renovation, we’re gutting the two upstairs bathrooms and downstairs vanity, painting the house (besides the kitchen, don’t even get me started on that thing), putting up a wall to make one larger room into two smaller bedrooms, and redoing some of the light fixtures to give them a little refresh. Nowhere near the extent or stress — or gray hairs — of Dartmouth, but needless to say I’m sure I’ll be visiting the hairdresser more often to cover those that do appear. Noel get ready.

I’m excited to share this exciting, stressful, and rewarding journey with all 15 of my followers — writing is my therapy, as is a strong gin and tonic — but here’s the thing: I actually need your help. Sometimes my interior decor tastes stray to the tacky and I only realize this after it’s all done, so I need you to stop me if something looks awful. Ok? Ok. Good talk. 

I have a lot of mixed emotions about this project — mostly nerves about doing this again, but I am happy to be able to customize and decorate an actual home. I’ve loved living in our apartment, but I felt like I could only go so far with making it my own. Cheers to the many beers, tears and sneers this reno will inevitably cause. 

And it’s on to the next one…

Home Living

Four Elements of the Perfect Vignette

February 12, 2016

If you’ve been with me for awhile now here on SST you are well versed in my love for organizing. Something about it gives me an almost palpable sense of satisfaction, and once you start, you can’t stop. Or I can’t, anyway. 

Organizing comes in handy especially when creating the perfect vignette. As a small collection of items arranged together, a vignette accomplishes a few things: 1) transforms a flat surface into something visually appealing; 2) allows you to display many different odds and ends that you’ve acquired over the years; and finally 3) offers endless opportunities to arrange, rearrange, and then arrange again, letting your inner OCD freak run wild with reckless abandon.

Vignettes are also super trendy right now, and everybody is droning on and on about a damn vignette. So we should too.

Here are my key elements to create the perfect vignette:

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 1. Balance. A vignette doesn’t need to be symmetrical — although I always gravitate towards symmetry in design — but the items that make up the vignette need to be cohesive. Cohesiveness makes for a beautiful arrangement/magazine-ready look. Here the items on the silver tray (yes Mom I know that needs to be polished) are arranged neatly between the two glass hurricanes, which happily flank the two hummingbird prints above. All items in this vignette sing the same song. I think they are singing a particularly invigorating rendition of Benny and the Jets.

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 2. Levels. Imagine your vignette is a stadium and that each item needs to be able to see out (or in this case, be seen) from all levels, giving each piece the attention it’s due. Arrange the tallest/largest items in the back,and then layer in smaller items towards the front in an arrangement that creates harmony. Yes items can be harmonious. Work with me here. 

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3. Grouping. Choose a variety of different items and group together. Seems overly simplistic, but not all items should go together. Choose the ones that complement each other without one hogging all of the attention. Here we have an antler shed Wilson found, some magazines, a plate, a candle, some flowers and a large fake shell. I fumbled around with them for a bit until I arrived at an arrangement that suited me.

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 4. Stacking. Vignettes are all about the stack. Sorry the photo is a tad crooked. Stacking things on top of one another is one of my favorite ways to organize shit together, and it’s also a great way to create a tasteful vignette.

Et voilà. Now I know all of you just cannot wait to get home to use my extraordinarily useful advice in creating your very own vignettes, but first thing’s first: pour yourself a glass of wine. Interior design is always better with wine.

Actually, isn’t everything?

Home Living

Investment Piece of the Month

January 8, 2016

Oh yea remember when I used to do these? Me neither. I’m a bad blogger. It always used to annoy me when bloggers would whine and say self-deprecating things like apologizing profusely for not posting on their blog in a while, but now I understand. I do feel some sort of obligation to the three people who read this thing. Hey mom! 

Back to spending too much money investing. January’s Investment Piece of the Month is this badass desk calendar:

2016 Botanical Calendar (Desktop Calendar) | Inslee By Design

 

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It’s awesome and the exact way I recommend to beat your winter post-holiday blues. Or at least that’s how I did it. That and three one dirty martinisPaying $56 (plus shipping) is ludicrous for a desk calendar, but I do believe this one will make me very happy all year long, so that’s worth it in my opinion. Just look at how pretty it is! And that cute little bamboo stand…  I also love this cell phone case and these cocktail napkinsBootyful. 

Happy Friday!

Fashion and Beauty, Home Living

Holiday Gift Guide from Small Southern Biz

December 9, 2015

Shopping small is all the rage now, and it is nice to think that your purchases are going to help local entrepreneurs. All of the below items would make great stocking stuffers and are either made or sold by great Southern businesses. Check it out!

 

Made in the South -- Stocking Stuffers

 one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine

#2, King Bean coffee is delicious. #4, how cute are those cheese stick things? #6 this salt is actually from the coast of South Carolina and #9 this hot sauce is the bomb.

Only 16 more days until Christmas…

Home Living

Decluttering the Bar Cart

October 28, 2015

I love small living spaces, which is a good thing because our apartment is teeny. It’s plenty of space for Wilson and I (and Birdie), but not much else. The apartment boasts a total of three closets, one of which is the kitchen pantry, leaving the other two for Wilson’s and my clothes. And that’s it.

I’ve managed my storage dilemma mostly by getting creative — using bookcases and chests of drawers everywhere, storing things in unlikely places such as my car’s trunk, and then shoving everything else under any available covered floor space. Don’t you dare lift our guest bed’s skirt. It’s dangerous down there. 

But over the past year and a bit of living in our apartment, it’s become increasingly cluttered. The odds and ends stuffed haphazardly underneath our guest bed are starting to slowly leak out onto the floor. We’ve begun using well-intentioned corners of various rooms as places to keep strangely shaped necessities like bags of dog food, coolers, Wilson’s golf clubs, and, most recently, his third-row car seats. We’re storing stuff in the car, remember?

Sounds like we need to throw some shit out, right?

Wilson — it’s your worst nightmare — WE’RE GOING TO START GIVING THINGS AWAY.  

Wilson hates going through his stuff and giving things away. He is, how you say… an absurdly ridiculous pack rat. And because I’m OCD AF, this is a source of friction for us that is solved mainly by me throwing stuff away when he isn’t looking or paying attention. Once he finds out I’m throwing stuff out, he’ll go through it (without me knowing) and then pull his most beloved items and stow them away in (yet another) corner unbeknownst to me. Until I find it six months later. 

I think every couple goes through this — one is the crazy person who likes to throw things away and then the other one likes to keep everything down to their dog’s teeth because it all has a story… But true story — some rando in the park the other day told me I should keep Birdie’s teeth as they fall out as a memento. I’ll let you imagine what my facial expression looked like… 

Anywho, back to our freakish clutter. One place I really noticed our mounting muddle of odds and ends was on our barcart. While barcarts are great for storage, things should be stored here strategically, and, more importantly, stylishly. Obviously. Ours was doing neither. See the evidence below.

full clutter

A real mess, huh?

before top

This barcart was doing so many things at once it was having an identity crisis.

bottom before

 

Shots! Shots?

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 It was a complete mess and it was bothering the shit out of me. So I took everything off, dusted piece by piece, stored most of the lesser-used bottles in the pantry and then added some different pieces I had laying around to switch up the look.

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 Ah much better. Less clutter, more space, less dust. Only the necessities — vodka, gin, bourbon, ice bucket, glasses. Boom. Done.

birdie approves

 Birdie approves. And by approve I mean waiting for me to not be watching her so she could take all of my neatly-pressed cocktail napkins and strew them across the apartment. Such a jerk. 

bottom

 cocktail napkins / martini glasses / cocktail shaker / lucite bar accessories

top after again

Crystal low ball glasses / crystal decanter / tortoise ice bucket / ice scoop

cocktail napkins

full thing

 Now that the barcart is done, I’m thinking about attacking Wilson’s closet next. Beware things that go bump in the night. In the closet.